John and Lena are Getting Married

It's always a little awkward when guys get together for some other purpose than building something, watching something, or eating something. I'm not much of a drinker. . .but I do understand the use of alcohol is such situations. John and Lena are getting married this weekend, and the guys got together with John to send him off with a gift, the reassurance of our happiness for them, and the promise of our support as the two of them adjust to married life. Women have showers, guys in other subcultures have bachelor parties, but in our tiny Orthodox parish, the guys get together to talk from our hearts to the soon-to-be-wedded. And it always starts out a little awkward. Thankfully, we had pizza but unfortunately. . .no beer. We shouldn't overlook that next time.

Besides John, there were eight other men present. Three singles and five married. Of the five married men, three had experienced bitter divorces, and two had gone through painful separations but had managed (with their wives of course) to keep their marriages intact. I don't know the "relational histories" of the single men but they weren't exactly unscarred. . .that much was evident. Not exactly a panel of experts re: marriage. But it didn't matter. There may have been a lot of pain represented in that room but no one was cyncial about marriage. We were sober, and we offered our varied experiences to John as evidence of the serious undertaking marriage is. . .but none of us discouraged him. All of us feel grateful to love and be loved by our wives. All of us are continually bewildered why our wives love us, and ashamed that we don't do better as husbands. But we all recognize the life-creating force this dance of love is. John and Lena will both benefit from it. I usually cry at weddings, but they are sweet tears.