Parenting

Have you ever tried to persuade someone to change something? I'm not talking about oil or light bulbs. . .I'm talking about their attitude and/or behavior. If so, how'd it go? Did your persuasion have sticking power, or did they just fake the behavior/attitude change in order to stop you from nagging them? If that's the case, then both parties end up feeling bad. The "forcer" feels bad (if he or she has a shred of conscience) because they imposed their will on someone else. . .that is, they've been a bully. And the "forcee" feels bad because their will has been violated. They feel like a little kid at school who's lunch money has just been extorted by Bubba. Unless the victim is extraordinarily humble, resentment and revenge are inevitable.

Parents are put in this situation all the time. When you observe your child's life you inevitably see things they can't. Things they really need to act on, or some attitude or behavior they need to change in order to be healthier in body and/or soul. When they're really young, below about 40 lbs., it's fairly simple. You just pick them up and put them where you want them. When they squirm away. . .you pick them up and perhaps distract them with some colorful toy until they forget what they were doing previously. It's tiring. . .but simple. But once they are on their own, either mentally or physically, it is much more challenging. . .and a delicate balance. The worst part is it that it requires humility and patience from both parties. It's difficult to line those two virtues up when only one soul is involved, much less two. An added bonus for the parent is that you hardly ever know if you're actually seeing things right and/or if the seeds of your words are finding "purchase in the soil of your kid's soul" . .at least perhaps not for many, many years. So it is really an act of faith AND love. It doesn't get any better than this. . .take that as you will.