Shut it Tight

Before The Strawmen released Saving Faded Dreams last year, while working on the artwork for the CD, I asked Mark and David if they would mind me putting the following quote from St. Silouan in the liner notes. "Keep your mind in hell, and despair not." They were OK with it and neither said much. For better or worse, they give me almost complete control over any words that show up,in, or around our music. . .and I return the favor by not interfering too much with the music. Basically, we trust each other having recognized long ago that each of us bring something unique to the mix.

I had more than one reason for wanting to put that particular quote in the artwork, with the usual mixture of intentions. For one thing, I thought the quote may give people insight into the lyrical content of the CD. For another, I wanted to identify myself as an Orthodox Christian. I also thought the quote was "odd" enough to pique people's interest. But it turns out that nobody seems to give a rat's ass about it. Or if they do, they keep it to themselves. I can recall only one person asking me about it. . .maybe two. It makes me laugh at myself. . .for thinking that printing an obscure quote in the middle of a jangly guitar-pop CD booklet would elicit profound conversations. I admit it. I'm a nerd.

But nerdiness aside, I happened to be reading from St. Silouan this morning and ran across his account of how his soul "acquired" the thought, "Keep your mind in hell, and despair not." I had never read this particular account before. . .so in a way, I guess I'm setting the record straight. Whatever my perverted reasons were for putting it in the artwork. . .the story surrounding how St. Silouan came up with this quote is a study in humility:

A certain deacon once told me that Satan had appeared to him and said, 'I like proud men, and they belong to me. Thou art proud, and I shall take thee to myself.' But he answered Satan and said: 'I am the worst of men;' and Satan straightway vanished.

I, too, had a like experience when devils appeared to me. I was somewhat afeared but I said: 'Lord, Thou seest that devils prevent me from praying. Tell me what I must do that the devils go from me.'
And the Lord said in my soul:
'Souls that are puffed up always suffer from devils.'
And I said:
'Lord, shew(sic) me what I must think on that my soul may be humbled.'
And in my soul came the answer:
'Keep thy mind in hell, and despair not.'
Thenceforth I began to do this, and my soul found rest in God.

It's easy to put that quote in the liner notes of a CD. . .it's hard as hell itself to get it inscribed in one's heart. But like T-Bone Burnett said, "I ain't gonna quit (trying) until I'm laid in my tomb. . .and even then they better shut it tight."