A Good Teacher

I've been thinking about emotional connection a lot lately. As I mentioned in an earlier entry, I've always had trouble with relationships. Specifically, it seems that maintaining a relationship and keeping it healthy is where I have the most trouble. During the beginning phase, when I'm getting to know someone else and that someone else is getting to know me it seems easy. . .exciting even. But when the initial self-disclosure phase starts waning, things get more difficult. I'm not generalizing. . .this is simply my experience. My normal practice has been to beat myself up in a ridiculous attempt to atone for my emotional remoteness. But it doesn't help the other person, the relationship, or me when I do that. That is one thing I have learned, but it is a difficult habit to leave behind.

However, knowing what not to do is less than half the answer. It's the "knowing what to do" that is the more important part and that is still a bit of a mystery to me. I have found great help in the spiritual disciplines given me by the Orthodox Church. . .things such as fasting, prayer, and the sacraments, especially holy Communion. Even if you're not a Christian or don't believe that Christ is mysteriously present in the bread and wine, you have to admit this ritual tells you a lot about the essence of Christianity. . .being connected to God is everything to us. Also, someone recently pointed out to me that it is the consistency of these practices that is the key to remaining connected with God. Somehow I've got to learn similar ways of remaining consistently and emotionally connected to my wife, my children (who are grown), my relatives, my friends, my priest, etc., etc. I see it happening, but it's a little humiliating to be such a slow learner. No worries. . .I've got a good Teacher.

Here's a couple more pics of rehearsals. . .one of the obvious reasons I'm thinking of connection is because of being here and working with Mark, David, Mike, and Bruce. Being in a band requires good emotional connection. . .otherwise the music, regardless of how well written or performed, is vacuous. In addition to working on the music, we're working on our relationshis as well. Nothing heavy, we're just enjoying being with each other, hanging out, and talking about things prosaic and Divine. It is all good.


Brothers at work


Dave gettin' all learned up on the 77s set