We Have to Start Somewhere

We all want to be loved. We all want to feel loved. Probably nothing else matters to us as much as that in one way or another. I want it for myself, and I want to provide it for those around me, especially the ones closest and dearest to me. But I usually don't succeed in any sort of consistent way. We enter the long struggle of fasting and increased prayers of Great Lent at Vespers this Sunday - the "Sunday of Forgiveness". During this service we ask and grant forgiveness of one another - personally. As I said - I don't even live up to my own poor standards of love, much less those of God's. So I need to ask forgiveness and have no right to deny anyone else forgiveness. But rather than attempt to soothe my conscience or feel pious Sunday night, I'm going to try and approach this service as a simple opportunity to express love in a practical way. I know I'm not unique. We all fail miserably in our relationships by neglecting, listening half-heartedly, holding on to hurts, mistrusting, misunderstanding, manipulating, betraying, bullying, judging, condemning, etc. So what is left for us but to forgive and be forgiven? Isn't letting each other off the hook the best way to show each other love? What can be more healing than to say from my heart, "Forgive me a sinner" and hear, "God forgives"? Of course healing is not an end in itself. We are healed for a reason - so that we can love. But we have to start somewhere.