The Cure

I was at a Lenten Men's retreat at The Monastery of St. John the Forerunner, near Goldendale, WA this past Friday night through Sunday morning. Constantine Zalalas (who I've written about before) , was the featured speaker. The topic was "spiritual illness and its cure". While eating lunch on Saturday, I had an interesting conversation with James, a fellow Orthodox blogger that seemed like the perfect illustration of the retreat's topic. I'll probably get the details of the story wrong, so James please feel free to correct me if you happen to read this.

While sharing stories of our respective journeys from Protestantism to Orthodoxy, James mentioned a friend's journey, the likes of which I've heard more than once by now. It seems that James' friend became aware of Orthodoxy and was very interested in "checking it out." He was married, and feeling the need to be "one" with his wife, he tried to interest her in Orthodoxy as well. But she wasn't buying it. He couldn't budge her, no matter what arguments he used. I don't know how long this went on, but eventually his wife was able to articulate her primary reason for not joining him in his "quest." She said something like, "You go ahead. I want to see if Orthodoxy changes you first. If I see a difference in you, then maybe I'll reconsider." I don't know how the story turned out - whether they ended up becoming Orthodox or not. But I agree with her. It's the cure of the soul that matters.

When it is all boiled down, that is exactly why I eventually abandoned Protestantism. I lost confidence in its ability to cure me. The hyper-rationality, hyper-emotionalism, or hyper-self-direction I encountered in the various groups I was involved in, led me from sickness to sickness. That may seem harsh, but honestly, in hindsight, it was my experience. But thank God, the "method of cure" (i.e. the ascetic life) prescribed by the Orthodox Church has enabled me to make a little progress towards spiritual health. I don't know how much - I'm not really interested in grading myself - but there has been the beginning of some healing of my many soul-wounds. I'm grateful beyond description and with each passing day I appreciate the wisdom embodied in the living tradition of the Orthodox Church more and more. Not only that, but I'm also finding that the various numbing agents I've become addicted to over the years (food, sex, music, etc.) in an attempt to dull the ache in my soul, has lost some of its appeal. Again, not much yet...but it is noticible to me and those close to me. Jesus Christ, "Who came down from heaven and was born of the Holy Spirit and the Virgin Mary" is the cure. And our mother...His glorious bride...the "one, holy, catholic and apostolic Church," the Orthodox Church, slowly nurses us back towards health.