The Barefoot and Hungry Christ

Africa, like all the countries that have been looted, has the Greatest Treasure - the Barefooted and Hungry Christ, Whom the plunderers had abandoned, for their dimmed eyes could not see Him...

The Ascetic of Love: Nun Gavrilia. pg.111

Sometimes words leap off a page, dodge past defense mechanisms, and land in your heart. I've always wondered why some people are drawn to work with the poor, the sick, the disenfranchised, the marginalized, etc. It has never appealed to me very much because it just seems so depressing. How does a person help in those situations without being taken under themselves? If not by poverty or sickness, then by mental illness brought on by seeing such suffering up close. My eyes are dimmed, but I think I finally got a glimpse through Mother Gavrilia as I was reading at lunch today. She saw Christ in the poor, wretched people she cared for. I don't mean that she "saw Christ" like some mental trick that helped her "stand the stench" - but in reality. I get it. It is Christ Who loves - loves and identifies with the humbled, the miserable, the sick. Mother Gavrilia was attracted to Christ and being drawn to Christ inevitably means being drawn to the humble souls among us. God, be merciful to me, because I'm afraid I still prefer the company of arrogant egomaniacs like myself.

Back to School

I live in uptown Portland and work out in the Burbs while my son Matt lives in the Burbs and works in uptown Portland. So he and I have a commuting arrangement that might just get us an honorable mention in the Oregon Green Hall of Fame. I ride the commuter train from downtown Portland to a Park 'n Ride where Matt drops his car off and catches the commuter train downtown while I drive his car the rest of the way to work. However, due to a practiced lack of communication between us, there was no car parked in the Park 'n Ride this morning. While muttering things I shouldn't under my breath, I realized I had two choices: I could choose to believe in entropy, Murphy, the devil, and/or all the above and allow irritation to grow into anger, bitterness, and resentment and then ride the inevitable waves of depression that follows in their wake. Or I could pay attention to what I had been reading 15 minutes earlier during my train ride (Mother Gavrilia, the Ascetic of Love) and believe in a good God who arranges all things. I realized in a fleeting moment of clarity that it is these small things that make or break me. I often wonder why my heart is so cold and why I struggle in relationships the way I do. I need to go back to school. I need to learn the simple things before I can master the bigger things.

Everything Has a Season

Mark, David and I have been collaborating on a few songs and as usual with The Strawmen, we don't really know where it will lead. Once we collect enough material for another CD, we'll probably tackle that beast called "recording", but for now 'tis the season for writing and putting ideas together. In other words, the FUN part of this kind of stuff. I've been able to put together a demo studio at home (not quite complete) - something I haven't had in a while - and songwriting being my first love in terms of writing, that's where most of my writing energy is going these days. Thought I'd just let people know that I'm still around - but not as involved in my blog as I have been. Everything has a season...

Little Worlds

It would be difficult to overestimate the damage done by negative, cynical, self-directed thinking in my life. It is worse than immorality, substance abuse, and perversions of many kinds in my estimation. Of course, only God Himself knows how to "rank" sins - but that's not my point. Being created in God's image, whatever thoughts we have give birth to "little worlds". If our thoughts are evil (i.e. originating from our fallen human nature), the worlds we create are places of torment, anxiety, and darkness. And that's not all. When these worlds inevitably unfold, grow, and finally spin out beyond the gravitational pull of our feeble control, then real damage is done. Both to ourselves and to others who are smashed to the ground in our dense and dark little worlds.

Elder Paisios taught:

The devil does not hunt after those who are lost; he hunts after those who are aware, those who are close to God. He takes from them trust in God and begins to afflict them with self-assurance, logic, thinking, criticism. Therefore we should not trust our logical minds. Never believe your thoughts.

Live simply and without thinking too much, like a child with his father. Faith without too much thinking works wonders. The logical mind hinders the Grace of God and miracles. Practice patience without judging with the logical mind.

Evidently, Elder Paisios continually spoke about this issue while he was alive. I've written about it before in Flies and Bees. Some of his teaching on this subject can be found in a book called Elder Paisios of the Holy Mountain. I wholeheartedly recommend this book.