Trivialities

Nothing is important except the fate of the soul; and literature is only redeemed from an utter triviality, surpassing that of naughts and crosses, (i.e. tic tac toe) by the fact that it describes not the world around us, or the things on the retina of the eye, or the enormous irrelevancy of encyclopaedias (sic), but some condition to which the human spirit can come.

- G.K. Chesterton, Introduction to The Old Curiosity Shop

I wonder if Chesterton would be gracious enough to bless semi-literate songwriting in a similar way? Whatever his conclusion might be, I do. Which I suppose is why I keep sporadically plugging away at it no matter how many internal our external voices tell me that I'm wasting my time on "trivialities". To be fair, there are plenty of voices that encourage me to continue writing. However, they are less fierce and thereby more easily ignored. But over the course of my life thus far I've noticed that the quieter voices are usually the most important ones.

Learning to Love

The change of seasons - especially from Summer to Fall - always brings about some quiet reflection for me. As the days get shorter I find myself thinking about some of the people that used to be in my life. As competitive and ambitious as I can tend to be, it is not the successes or failures from my past that I remember. Rather, I remember the joy and the pain of struggling to know and be known.

The distance of time makes these memories a little easier to contemplate. I know that I am created in God's image and that love is the cornerstone to my life. But I find love difficult. Both to give and receive. I am more aware of my shortcomings in this area today than I have ever been, and so these memories always bring me right into the present. I thank God for my wife who is a patient partner (most of the time) with me in this. She wants much more of me than I can usually deliver - but her persistent acceptance of my limitations and her gentle refusal to be satisfied with them are helping me come to terms with this.

More and more I find myself really believing in (as opposed to just accepting) the Orthodox Christian understanding of marriage - that it is meant for our salvation and not necessarily our pleasure. My generation forgot something our parents knew well. Pleasure is fickle and unreliable - especially as a criterion for a relationship. Love is neither beholden to pleasure or bound by it. Love is something else entirely. It is the life of God poured out into the earth. My prayer is that I learn to love before I die.

An Unexpected Visit

Sometimes things are almost too simple to explain. Or maybe it's just that I'm too complicated to explain simple things. Whatever the case, I'll do my best. I was too tired on Friday to go with my wife to venerate the Sitka Icon of the Theotokos (See my last post.) I haven't asked her, but I know she prayed for me in front of the Icon. The next day, the Icon came to our Church (there had been no previous plans for this) which is about 50 feet from our apartment. This has pretty much been the story of my life. Thank God

Tired Choices

I'm home alone tonight. I was just too worn out from my very busy schedule of late to accompany my wife to The Church of the Annunciation to venerate the Sitka Icon of the Mother of God. I question my decision and wonder if it is physical or spiritual tiredness that is keeping me at home. I don't know. The problem with wondering about things like this is that it gets you nowhere. It is navel-gazing at its worst. The best approach to life it seems is to make as good a decision as you can, and then eagerly dive into the consequences with humility and a good attitude. I think that kind of approach pleases God. Of course, humility and good attitudes are not exactly my strong suits. But maybe my wife will pray for me tonight while gazing into the Virgin's eyes. In fact, I know I can count on it - and believe me, I don't take that for granted.